Sujood

  Sometimes everything is okay , but some odd days are  harder to cope , I try to held on but my mind becomes out of control, everything I know becomes blank, it becomes worse, my head explodes with ideas, negative becomes positive for my mind, I close my eyes and pray to Allah swt as this struggle becomes unavoidable, I need to stop and relax as everything happens for a reason, my positive side becomes my focus, I compare everyone’s problems to mine, I have nothing to worry about, my life is perfect as it goes, but this pain and sadness is still visible inside my corrupted heart, but I know the struggle will stop only when I get my head and my heart back in control , my struggle becomes smaller and my faith becomes stronger as everything becomes meaningful around this tiny dunya, my body aches for the truth, my hands crave for the goodness in charity,  

 my body wants to just bow and enternity  become in sujood in front of the only al mighty Allah swt, my tongue wants to do zikar through 99 names of our beautiful Allah swt.. 

 .my heart slowly becomes clean with the purest of unconditional love.. My breath only breaths the air for my beloved….my control becomes balance I shut my eyes and breath slowly as everything around me becomes lighter and ready for this new me….. 

 

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Smiling 

Be happy and be positive, I always tell my mind to always be better .. I have seen that smiling is a great way to achieve this . Smiling helps the mind to become more active and positive thoughts are being located. Our Muhammad pbuh always smiled which is a sunnah for all of us .. Always smile when greeting other people around us , remember it’s a blessing and a great deed..keep smiling 😁xx

Marium was being quite lazy about her health, some days she would forget to eat and sometimes she forgot to drink water..her mind was just to take care of her baby,husbAnd and the house.. Everything else was at the back of her head.. I looked around in the playground imaan was crawling away with a boy.. Wow mashallah she will be very friendly with everyone in the future I thought to my self smiling , I was speaking to a woman who’s name was Claire “so why do you wear the hijab” well I explained it’s my own choice but it’s allahs commands also to be covered, it gives me freedom to speak my mind I started to cut it short, mind you I love explaining about my religion but sometimes it’s nice for them to research our beautiful Islam.. I looked around to see imaan trying to pick her self up on the slide but suddenly a girl fell on top of her, I ran to my baby “my imaan “, I shouted, she was underneath the slide but allhumdillah she was okay, accidents happen but sometimes even five seconds of leaving your baby in the public is not such a great idea….I was thinking to myself again.. I gave my imaan a great big hug and mushy kiss she was okay she was okay…..😊I was always overprotective but sometimes you have to leave them to the big world to become better and stronger…..

Walk with me

Asalam alaykum!! Today is a beautiful winter, cold and foggy in my area.. well come with me for a walk be active and be positive even durning winter, , everyday for fifty minutes I take a walk with my beautiful baby,I had three friends whom refused to go today so I thought today will be a lucky day for you, come with me for a beautiful walk…

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Okay my hands are freezing as you can see my gloves were off to take a beautiful scenery for you to see..beautiful day asalam alaykum peace be upon you jazak allahkhairun..I will be heading home for a nice hot cuppa ☺….

the cloak

I started to wear a jilbab which was a convenient way for my body to be covered whilst it was loose and black coloured. But my husband disliked the clothing of jilbab, he wanted me to look beautiful with modern clothes..
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he frowned, putting his hands on his head, his eyes were on mairums jilbab, he quickly took it and hid it far away in his wardrobe, before going downstairs pretending to be busy with his cup of tea which was placed by marium who now was changing imaans nappy, third time dirty….she looked disgust as the smell was not pleasant, but she loved her imaan whom now after been changed was eager to crawl around with her baby grown half way button “oh no bunny not yet, cooed Marium while she started to close imaans buttons before heading off upstairs to change into her jilbab as today was the day that imaan was going to the playgroup to meet her new friends… Mairum looked around for her jilbab, de cluttering everything to find her black cloak, it was not anywhere to be seen “oh no I cant rememeber where I put it!” I was getting angry with myself for I again forgotten where I put it,sometimes my mind goes blank, I swear I put it on the bed, seriously sometimes I can be so unbelieveable, marium was accusing herself again..thank allah I have one in the laundery basket… I quickly wore my brown jilbab and went downstairs to prepare imaans bottle before we go out….unaware of her husbands eyes that became wide as he became shocked at the sight of her wives brown jilbab, his hands were tight on his tea, he suddenly led out a loud cry “aaaghh” he burned his fingers………..
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The mothers of believers

The prayer
Being a mother is a respective position. We teach our children to follow the sunnah of our prophet Muhammad pbuh and memorising the Quran is the greatest way to obey Allah’s swt rules. One of the greatest mothers of the believers was Khadija, Allah swt chose her to become the greatest wife of our prophet Muhammad pbuh and the greatest mother of the believers. , as He says in His Book:
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The prophet is closer to the believers than their own selves, and his wives are their mothers. (Chapter 33; verse 6

This Sura (chapter 33) establishes the dignity and position of the Holy Prophet’s wives, who had a special mission and responsibility as Mothers of the Believers. They were not to be like ordinary women: they had to instruct women in spiritual matters, visit and minister to those who were ill or in distress, and do other kindly offices in aid of the Prophet’s mission. Khadija gave the sacred love which a mother alone can give, to the believers.
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A mother may be hungry but if her children are hungry, she will feed them first. She will feed her children her own share of food and will gladly go hungry. This has happened on countless occasions in history, especially during wars and famines. The fact that her children are well-fed and contented, is enough to make a mother happy and contented, and is enough to make her forget her own hunger and thirst. A mother’s love is unconditional; it is all-protective, all-enveloping. Khadija fed the poor Muslims, day after day, so that no one among them ever went hungry, and she provided shelter to them. For her, charity was nothing new but the size and scope of the commitment were; she spent money prodigiously on the poor and the homeless Muslims of Makka, and thus foiled the aims of the cartel.
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The support that Khadija gave to the Muslim community in Makka, was indispensable for the survival of Islam. Her support to the Muslim community guaranteed its survival when it was in a state of blockade. In this sense, she was a maker of history -the history of Islam. Khadija never asked her husband for anything. Far from asking him to bring anything for her, she made her own purse a public treasury for the Muslims. In Makka there was no Bayt-ul-Mal, and it was the boundless generosity and the unlimited wealth of Khadija that saved the Community of the Faithful from starving. She was so solicitous of the welfare of the followers of her husband that she didn’t withhold even the last coin that was in her possession, and spent it on them.

May Allah bless His slave, Khadija, the Mother of the Believers….
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The prayer

My mind went black as I stood frozen still feeling as something was watching me,I looked around twisting my neck, shaking like a leaf as nothing was behind me, I started to read my namaz,  lifting my hands “Allah hoo akbar” concentrating on speaking to my merciful Allah who was the greatest of all , but something was stopping me , my mind was distracting me again by switching to my desires, I tried my hardest to focus on my prayer this was the only time I could speak to my lord without being distracting with all my other worldly needs  ..shaytan tried hardest to break my prayer, but this time I focused on my Allah, this time I fighted my mind, my body to be spiritually involved with the hereafter and the beautiful light which was straight to the kaba shareef,  my mind was struggling vand was still trying to control my soul but alas it was being defeated by me…the fear vanished as I stood before my almighty who was listening to my prayer, my body shivered for it was struggling to held on, my hands were shaking as I was near to my beautiful merciful Allah set, everything was created to obey only him , but the jihad and my naf was fighting for freedom, freedom from all the desires, needs and wants, my body was getting weak but my prayer was complete. . Ya Allah swt thank you for this life and for this body which will only obey you and not other desires and things..I kept my head on the floor, everything seemed nothing to me know, my emotions were coming out, I was weeping so loudly , I was craving for this unconditional love , I wept needing you Allah for you are the only one that understands me,, ya Allah swt please forgive me for my neglation of the prayers and please guide me to the straight path as my soul has been lost in this temptation dunya where only hopes and negative vibes are around, please help me to pass this test of life, ya Allah swt you are everything,everything…something was touching my back, I felt a breeze on my head, I stopped weeping and pulled myself up, my face and my body was so lighter,everything was quite my mind was empty,  I turned around to see a black shadow disappearing, something went away and my eyes were blurry but it became normal, I smiled as I knew that all will be okay…